


The Secret Diary of Rachel Amber

by Xeraphano



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate History, Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-01 09:19:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5200490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xeraphano/pseuds/Xeraphano
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>" Where is Rachel Amber? Even though Blackwell Academy feels so remote and tranquil, you still get sad reminders of reality, like "Missing Person" posters literally wallpapered all over campus. I already know her name through osmosis. I guess she was a popular student here and vanished six months ago. Rachel has a great picture on her "Missing Person" poster. She looks posed and pretty, like a model. Of course, I wonder who took the photo. Did she run away from home? I'd like to hope so. For her sake. It's so depressing. And I feel awful for her parents. What a shitty thing to go through. SIGH. No matter how much Blackwell seems like a secret bubble of knowledge, you can't escape the real world... "</p><p>[ She'll be gone, but her story remains on; a fan-based journal fanfiction based in the view point of Rachel Amber. All of this based on my own personal speculation on her character and motives. An empty girl living in an already empty world... ]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. April 20th, 2013

Rachel,

You know how

dreams dies

during

adolescent lives?

 

if we let it die,

will we finally stop living this lie?

 

\-- **R.A.**


	2. July 22th, 2006

Dear Diary,

My Name is Rachel Dawn Amber, and just five minutes ago I've turned _twelve_.  
Droll, I know, and I should be more excited, but it's just not the same. Never  
really was--Mom said I could skip summer school tomorrow for my birthday, but I know  
she's just saying that so she doesn't feel bad. She always feels bad -- something's  
not going right in that old noggin' of hers. Ha ha.

But, in someway, I understand; She's lonely, like all pretty people are. Trust me,  
diary, my mother may be the prettiest person I know. She has everything: the   
golden locks, bright eyes and the figure that'd make Madonna jelly ( no lie -- my  
mom is like a total prize ). But ever since the deal with dad and the divorce... she  
really wasn't the same. I guess that's something happens -- I blame myself for  
reading too many of her gushy, gross, lovey novels she has scattered around her  
room. Romance novels that talk about heartbreak and such and how 'making love'  
can change everything and all that...

Mom often told me and Nic stories kinda like that when it was a warm summer   
afternoon in Oregon when we go to visit Gran on the coast -- about her and dad  
met on the shady streets of L.A. Every time she does she has a huge smile on her  
face, going on about this goofy, nerdy photographer who lived next door to her,  
taking pictures of her when she leaned against the apartment complex fence on  
a smoke break after a long day... Or times when she talks about the fair and how  
dad proposed... All the time, there was a glimmer in her eye that always seemed  
so bright and hopeful...

I really don't see that much anymore.

But, that's me droning against the sudden Cali rain -- like the clouds are currently  
blocking out the moon, but the city lights of Long Beach still breaks through even  
if it looks dreary. I kinda feel like a hermit -- under my bed just writing away at some  
jacked up journal.. you're not that bad looking, right Diary?

And here I go **insane** by inferring to the diary as a person -- strike me down. :I

But that's me just rambling. I'm kinda glad I have this thing to just let my mind go with  
the flow -- y'know? Even if it **is** to myself. Maybe I'll convince mom to get herself a journal  
so we can have matching jacked up journals. Maybe I can see her smile again just watching  
her write all of her little problems away.

I think that would be the best present of all: to see my mom happy again.

 

Talk to you more later -- It's gonna be a bad habit if I keep trying to stay up at twelve;  
plus I think I can hear Nic walking around in the dead of night. Oh Nicole; you are legit the  
walking dead. :U Time management~It's a thing! You should get it in check!  
But she'll never read this B)

 _ **Much Love**_ ,  
Rachel


	3. July 22th, 2006 ( Later )

Diary,

If you make a fatal mistake, please own up to it. @_@  
Never in my life have I been so tired, and I did get about... five hours of sleep?  
Okay, I messed up (... I **fucked** up--! Aha! My Journal! My Rules! I can curse! ),  
instead of going to sleep after I wrote in you, I spent at least another hour listening  
to dad's old iPod. Guns and Roses were blaring through my headphones but I couldn't  
ignore the rustling from the other room and hearing footsteps so, as stupid as I am,  
I decided, and I quote:

            " ... _I'm gonna annoy Nicole_. "

Because only SHE would be up at this time -- I mean, mom works the overnight shift  
at the police station, but she doesn't come home until it's time for me to leave for summer  
school. Nicole, however, is old enough to be home with me, being the ' _fast-paced_ ' young  
adult she is (She's only 16).

So, the investigation of Nicole Amber began -- I turned off my music, slipped on my slippers  
and waltzed my way to Nic's room down the hall as the stealthy ninja I was. I made sure to stay by  
the wall as I eyed down the half opened door with light basically shining out like _Jesus_ has risen  
again! (it was that freaking bright in her room). I cracked the door open a bit more only to choke on  
the scent of cigarettes. I saw Nic smoke them occasionally but didn't think she had the gal to smoke  
them in the house, mom would lose her **shit**! I would have lost it too -- I hated the smell of cigarettes.

But curiosity bested reaction--I decided to get a closer look into her room and, surprisingly, she wasn't  
the one smoking the cigarettes. An even more _blasphemous_ thing was happening: there was a **boy** in her  
room ( ** _Gasp_ ** :O).

Dramatic much, I know; this wasn't no shock to see, because I knew who it was. Sitting upon her bed with  
his dirty boots and grass-stained jeans was Nicole's long time friend, Adrian. Ari and Nic--they were like  
siblings from different sides of the spectrum, never straying into romance even when the rumors on Facebook  
insisted on it. I remember my grandma getting in a flame war with Nic about it (" _Nicole Amber Cassidy--don't_  
_you like it sweetie?_ " to Nic replies with, and I quote: " _Hell no_ " ). They were close, but not too close; they'd hug  
but never kiss, they'd fight but never throw punches... They were the epitome of friendship, and I always  
wondered what would happen if they went for more...

I had a bad habit of imagining what would happen if I was in Nic's place instead. I won't lie I was a bit envious  
about how close she was to him... They were close when I saw them last night. He had his arm around her but  
definitely didn't look at her romantically or was trying to make moves like you saw on TV. He just had a cigarette  
between his lips and his hand stroking Nic's dirty blonde hair as they talked quietly to whatever was playing on  
the radio ( Some gross pop song -- lame ). They talked usual teen stuff for a while; Ari breaking up with his ex,  
Nic worrying about her SAT and eventually they'll just dwindle into complete silence listening to the radio guy  
chat his head off. They were picture perfect; to Nic's short wispy hair to Ari's overall... him look. Punk rock  
with his own edge. I, truthfully, looked at him longer than I did my sister... to the point of forgetting my overall  
mission to bug the shit out of my sister ( **Cuss Counter** : 3).

I kinda... wished I was in her place. Is it weird to think someone might be warm to the touch? It'd just  
seemed comforting and... warm to be in Ari's arms, thus why it seemed like Nic was so close to him. I mean  
I may just be letting my mind wander. The longer I stared, the more whimsical I get in my thoughts... The more  
I kinda wanted to have Ari's hands in my hair instead of my sister. Stupid kid thoughts, right?

I snapped back to it when I saw Nicole move from the bed, so I hid myself back on the other side of the door  
and listened to the rustling. I heard a laugh, annoyed grunt, and smelt the cigarette stink closer to me. Nic's  
voice was louder than before... They were talking and I was the center topic. They talked shop about my birthday  
( Ari wanted to throw a surprise party, Nic refused. ), my currently dyed stripes of pink hair ( "Nicole, she's going  
full punk, I'm proud of her! ", " She shouldn't use _YOU_ as an example of human decency." ), and my father.  
Apparently, he called but mom intercepted the call. 

I don't get a call from him in two years only for the chance to be taken away from me. That alone made me   
mutter 'What' so audibly that Nic heard me. Never had I ran so fast to my room while she's screaming at me like  
"you little brat!! you're supposed to be in bed. " and all that jazz.

So... I kinda couldn't sleep. Too many thoughts, too little time. When my alarm woke me this morning I was in shock--  
I thought I was in Ari's arms as the phone was ringing.

I thought of dad, and it made me sad. 

 

I'll write in you later @_@ this is a total bomb of info and shit ( **Cuss counter** : 4) and my hand's getting worn from  
writing. I gotta throw on a sweatshirt and grab my iPod so I can get driven to summer school. I'll update you later diary.  
Thank you for listening. 

 **FOREVER YOURS,**  
Rachel

P.S.

Do you know why Mom wanted to talk to him?  
He betrayed her -- doesn't betrayal lead to hate?

Nicole hates him; that's what she said last night...  
Should I hate him too?

 

P.S.S.

I'm too tired to contemplate serious stuff. :c

I just want some eggs and bacon. :c

**Author's Note:**

> [ As someone interested in this game and all it had to offer, I will never cease to be unimpressed by the lack of characterization we got from Rachel Amber other than her ending up being a 'Laura Palmer' expy -- created to be dead at the character's expense. To have such a prominent figure in the series only to have her be revealed to be dead in Episode 4 and merely mentioned in Episode 5 irritated me along other flaws with the weak writing of Episode 5. As critical as I may be, I was determined to do what I wanted to do to fill loose holes. Missing plot points and explanations I will try to address within this journal series, even if it has some kind of twists. I will not hesitate with any depictions of relationships and character traits I will write within here -- all of this will be taken with digression in mind. I only want to entertain and give at least of a perspective of a 19 year old girl. ]


End file.
